Things Beginning to Look Up

Just a quick note to say, instead of getting hit-on by old, drunk, black men now I'm getting hit-on by old, sober, white men. At least they're not drunk!

Unperfect Everything

Without further ado... The results from my survey are back. In no particular order they are:
* Stuck Up
* (My ex's) loss
* Sometimey
* Sexy as Hell
* Total Package
* Nice Rack
* Bully
* Crazy
* Red Head
* Sweety
* Hilarious
* Forethought
* Bad Mom
Definitely a lot more positives then I had anticipated. However, that was not what I was searching for so let's look at the negative personality traits individually.
Stuck up - It amazes me how the truth can be misconstrued as a negative trait. I am far from stuck up. The truth is, I'm painfully shy and I also lack the ability to make "small talk". I am comfortable sitting in silence and do not feel the need to perpetuate every moment with senseless babble. That said, this is not intended for me to justify my character but to enhance it. Apparently, this is something I need to work on. I'm not quite sure how I will achieve this but I am open to suggestions...
(My ex's loss) - Quite possibly but my gain... next!
Sometimey - I really wish I could get a clear definition on this one. I'm not sure what this means so for the meantime we will skip it.
Sexy as Hell - Gee... thanks (I think)
Total Package - Let the record state that this note and the "Sexy as Hell" note were in 2 different hand writings, and none of the participants were bribed. That stated, I feel the same way about myself... I just wish other people would see that as well.
Nice Rack - As I have said many times before, Give me a knife, something for the pain, and something for the bleeding. I will cut them off and give them to you. They do nothing but cause problems for me and I despise them.
Bully - I had to go to the dictionary to get a clear definition for this one. "A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people" While I never would have guessed this would describe me apparently someone thinks it does. I will have to look deeper into this and see what I can do to rectify this character flaw.... suggestions?
Crazy - I'm not entirely sure if this is a negative or a positive trait. Nor am I certain about what type of "crazy" I am characterised as being. For now I will assume it is positive and leave it alone but I leave this open for discussion at a further time.
Red Head - thank for stating the obvious
Sweety - awwwww.
Hilarious - I would have never guessed someone thought I was funny, but okay.
Forethought - Not sure this is a character trait but I definitely do this... thanks for noticing.
Bad Mom - Unless these comments come from my son (which they didn't) I chose not acknowledge them, except to state that this stems from someone only hearing one side of a story and also comes from a person who has no children.

Unperfect Person

I've been doing a lot of looking in the mirror lately. No, I'm not conceited. I have just been trying to determine why it is so difficult for me to meet new people. I have only 1 close friend and no perspective mates. I'm beginning to think I have the word "BITCH" stamped somewhere on my forehead. It is pretty upsetting when I am out and about with my only friend and people speak to her and not me. Now, I am speaking about people in general but the really problem, of course, is the lack of attention I get from the opposite sex. If one takes a moment and looks for rings you can tell that she is obviously married. I, on the other hand, am woefully single.
Does it boil down to looks? I don't think so. Neither of us are skinny, nor is one better looking than the other. Do clothes matter? Normally when we are out and about I am dressed from work (jeans and a nice shirt). She, on the other hand, is a stay at home mom who is usually wearing whatever happens to be clean. So obviously it must come down to personality.
I am starting an experiment. I have a jar that I am going to take around and I am having people put a word or two in the jar that they think describes me. This is going to be completely anonymous so hopefully I'll get some real candid answers.
The effects of my personality have been bothering me lately. In the past month I have been told my sarcasm comes off as bitchy-ness and my shyness comes off as stand-off-ish. The goal of this experiment is to get some more negative personality traits that I can (hopefully) change.
I have wrestled with the thought of changing my personality for sometime now. It is not an easy concept to comprehend. Your personality, for the most part, defines who you are. Changing would be a BIG step outside of my comfort zone. Still, as Einstein said it, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. Since I don't like the results of my personality I suppose it's time to change.
I'll conduct this experiment for a few days and then I'll post the results.... Stay tuned.....

Unperfect Clone

I was once fervently against cloning, but now I'm beginning to realize that it is the future of society. Today, alone, at work I have been hit with 3 additional projects that I am now responsible for... and it's not even lunch time. What makes it almost comical is that I'm not told about these projects ahead of time. I'm not given any information or any training, and in 1 instance I was the last person to be informed that I now have a new job responsibility.
At least if I had a clone of myself we could possibly get all of my assigned work done. One of us could do the work I was initially hired to do and the other one could work on all of the new projects I have been given. Not only would it help with my stress level and time management but it would also help me financially. Once my clone starts working I will be paid closer to what I should be paid now. It is well known that I am the least paid employee here at work. Yet, I'm the one who gets the most responsibility heaped on me everyday. I have been working for over a year without a raise and within that year have had no less then 15 new assignments placed on myself.
Yes, I do believe cloning is the answer to my problems... at least here at work. So let's push for cloning and let me be 1st in line to get my clone.

"Unperfect" Phone Operator

I hate my name.
I don't really hate my name, actually I'm rather fond of it. I've had it longer then I've known my child (9 years). I've had it longer then I've had glasses (25 years). I've even had it longer than I've been alive (29+ years). I don't have a problem with my name but it seems other people do.
My name is not difficult, nor is it that unusual, but for some reason people just cannot believe my name. Let's start at work, I'll answer the phone with, "Thank you for calling _______. This is ________ how can I help you?" Seems pretty standard, to me. AT LEAST once a day I'll get a response of "Patty, did you say?". Um, no. Not even close. My name doesn't even have the letters P,A,T, or Y. Quite often after answering the phone with the standard greeting I'll get a response of, "May I speak with ______, please?" To which I respond, "This is." The person on the other end will then say, "Oh! I though you said Patty." Um, no. I do believe I know what my own name is and I do believe I know how to say it.
I have even went so far as to have people blind call me just to make sure I am enunciating correctly. Alas, they all say the same thing, "No, you're not saying Patty, you're saying ________."
Now, let's move onto my last name. Also, not a difficult name to pronounce but for some reason people either stumble over it or laugh at it. My last name I am not too fond of and never have been. It is the result of a failed marriage. I kept it for a number of reasons. First, I REALLY didn't want to go through the hassle of changing my name back to my maiden name. Second, my maiden name is not any better then my current name. Thirdly, it is easier having the same last name as my child. Lastly, and most important, I thought it would be a good way to piss off my ex-husband. Although it may not be the "perfect" last name I certainly don't understand how it is funny (girl at the pizza shop) or difficult to pronounce (college instructor).
Perhaps I will keep my names as they are (at least until a better opportunity presents itself). I will continue to correct the idiots who do not take the time to listen properly and I will not laugh with people who laugh at my name. But just for the record... my name is NOT Patty.

Unperfect Woman

Have you ever felt a certain way about someone, knowing that logically you shouldn't feel that way, but you just can't help how you feel?
Have you ever wanted something so bad that it literally makes you ill because you know it will never materialize?
Have you ever put all your hopes and dreams in one basket and prayed, night on end, that it would all work out?
If I were the "perfect" woman I would not let a single person have that much control over me. One person should not be able to dominate all of my dreams and aspirations for the future. It is very much past the right time, but how do I let go of a dream that I have held on to for so long? It logically does not make sense to keep praying, wishing, hoping, and dreaming that a certain outcome will happen, knowing full well that it never will. What my brain rationalizes and what my heart feels are two completely different things. How do I make my heart let go?
I can't.
I'll go to bed tonight and dream the same dream that I have drempt for the past 2 years. I will wake up tomorrow and go through the motions again. I will live tomorrow with chest pains and headaches, because that is how a broken heart manifests in my body. I will probably cry at least twice. I will feel sad, broken, remourseful, angry, betrayed, regretful, and hopeless. But, I WILL get up tomorrow and I will NOT give up on my dream. No matter how out of reach it may be.

"Unperfect" Parent

Sometimes we really don't understand the workings of a child. In striving to be the best or fit in with the proverbial "Jones'" we rush our children into maturity. All too frequently this results in putting negative labels on our kids. Maybe instead of expecting "perfect" children we should embrace their innocence and let them be kids for as long as possible.
S/He is not Hyperactive but Energetic
S/He is not Impulsive but Spontaneous
S/He is not Distractable but Creative
S/He is not a Daydreamer but Imaginative
S/He is not Inattentive but a Global thinker with a wide focus
S/He is not Unpredictable but Flexible
S/He is not Argumentative but Independent
S/He is not Stubborn but Committed
S/He is not Irritable but Sensitive
S/He is not Aggressive but Assertive
I remember a time, not too long ago, when someone I knew and trusted suggested my (then 6 year old son) had A.D.H.D. This person worked very closely with children so I valued her opinion, but I remember telling her "He's fine. He's a normal 6 year old boy." My son is now a very normal 8 year old boy, and no, he does not have A.D.H.D. However, my feeling were (and still are) very hurt by her comments. It seems it was too easy for her to label my son with a "defect" when, in fact, it was just that she could not handle the energy of a young boy.
We will all look back in 5 - 10 - 15 years and say to ourselves "where has the time gone?". It's rather simple, they grew up too fast because we pushed them to. Let them be kids while they still can be.

"Unperfect" Parent

So last night I had my son (who is 8 years old) out until after 11:30p.m........ on a school night!
I didn't intend for it to be that late but things don't always go the way you have them planned.
My friend wanted to get her hair permed so I went with her after I got out of work at 5. The people at the 1st place we went to (Fantastic Sam's - Yup, negative plug here) were too lazy to do it. The 2nd place we went to was too busy. The 3rd place couldn't work with chemicals "past 6 o'clock". So off to Sally's we went (postivive plug for Sally's). 6 packages of curling rods, 1 box of papers, 1 bag of cotton, and a box of perm solution later and off to her house we go! I got to do my 1st perm ever and I think I did a pretty good job! The only problem is it took about 3 hours, not bad considering it was my 1st attempt. But that still put my son and I home after 11:30 p.m. He's fine, he'll live. I let him sleep in this morning and am taking him to school instead of letting the bus take him. That gave him an extra half of an hour to sleep.
But the "perfect" parent would have made sure their child was home by bed time. I'm so glad I'm not a "perfect" parent. We all had too much fun last night!

"Unperfect" Employee

It began about 2 months ago. It was a bright sun-shiny day and our power at work went out. It was only out for a couple of seconds but when it came back on my phone was staticky. I don't mean just a slight buzz. No, I mean full out static.
I have tried everything. I switched the hand set, I switched the cord that goes from the phone to the hand set, I switched the phone, and I switched the cord that goes from the phone into the wall. I have even went to the main phone box to make sure everything was connected.... all to no avail. My boss knows, her boss knows, the BIG bosses know but nobody wants to do anything about it since they don't have to deal with it. Alas, I have resulted to lying or hanging up on people.
When the static gets so bad that I cannot hear the person on the other end I will just hang up. Then, I will high-tail it out of the office so when they call back (and they always do) my boss will have to answer the phone. If someone says something, well "I didn't know anybody was there. I couldn't hear anything but static." Usually I will be on the phone with someone and the static will increase. In that case the phone conversation goes something like this... Caller: "I was wondering if you have SHHHH-CRRRRR-SHSHCOHSNFO" Me: "No, sorry we don't carry that."
The way I see it, if this company wants to make money they should get my phone fixed! I'm doing the best I can but it's awfully difficult to answer a phone when you can't hear anything but SHHHHHH-CRRRRRR-SSSSSHHHHHH-CLSOEINLGKSJEOHASLOHGOWH.

"Unperfect" Employee

I am a facebook addict. I have tried to limit my time on facebook, especially at work, but I still find myself mindlessly wasting hours on pointless games.
I thought it was a little strange when a facebook friend sent me a link to a video. This particular friend never sends me messages, but I thought if it was good enough for him to send then it must be really good! So, not giving it a second thought I clicked through... and that's when the madness started.
Apparently it was a virus that had attacked him, and the message was sent to everyone on his friends list. Now that I clicked on the link it did the same to me. Not only that, but it started giving me pop-ups every 30 seconds. At one point I walked away from my desk only to come back and find a pop-up of some woman undressing. Keep in mind this is all happening on my WORK computer.
At this point I am sweating buckets! Not a year ago a few people were fired for downloading crap that has viruses. I'm starting to see visions of pink slips and unemployment offices in my head.
Now, I'm not a computer genius and I still have no clue what a "Trojan Virus" is, but I know that is what I had. I deleted my temporary internet files, deleted my cookies, increased my level of protection.... nothing helped. So off to the good ole' stand by I went.... www.ask.com I searched for "how to remove a trojan virus" and lo-and-behold I got a good response. BUT I don't have administrative rights at work... will it allow me to download the program?
Yes, it did! And best of all.... it actually worked! My job is safe..... for now.....