Unperfect Woman

Have you ever felt a certain way about someone, knowing that logically you shouldn't feel that way, but you just can't help how you feel?
Have you ever wanted something so bad that it literally makes you ill because you know it will never materialize?
Have you ever put all your hopes and dreams in one basket and prayed, night on end, that it would all work out?
If I were the "perfect" woman I would not let a single person have that much control over me. One person should not be able to dominate all of my dreams and aspirations for the future. It is very much past the right time, but how do I let go of a dream that I have held on to for so long? It logically does not make sense to keep praying, wishing, hoping, and dreaming that a certain outcome will happen, knowing full well that it never will. What my brain rationalizes and what my heart feels are two completely different things. How do I make my heart let go?
I can't.
I'll go to bed tonight and dream the same dream that I have drempt for the past 2 years. I will wake up tomorrow and go through the motions again. I will live tomorrow with chest pains and headaches, because that is how a broken heart manifests in my body. I will probably cry at least twice. I will feel sad, broken, remourseful, angry, betrayed, regretful, and hopeless. But, I WILL get up tomorrow and I will NOT give up on my dream. No matter how out of reach it may be.